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There are voices in my head that I do not like to listen to that alone talk about. Why? Because everyone today is so dishonest that they cannot admit they, too, hear these same voices. These voices haunted Bruce Lee. He said, "I am not afraid of demons because I am one." Really? Why did you fight so hard to defeat them? I once heard a professor telling one of his students what an intelligent person he was. The student replied, "The only person who would tell someone how intelligent they are is someone who didn't believe it." This Professor heard the voices but decided to use a compensating strategy to ignore them. These voices are terrible for senior leaders. Senior Leaders are skilled at hiding the voices in their heads. "I'm an important senior leader and can never admit I hear voices. I'm in control." We everyday folks feel the pain of the accusatory voices. Sleep is lost, self-medication is used, and loved ones look at us with concern. However, they, too, hear these same voices but maybe at a lower volume.

I often hear quoted, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about." True. However, they also have no idea what battles I'm fighting—the damn voices. I'm sure they hear the same voices, but they, too, can't admit it. Some like to post links to Crisis Hot Lines on social media. I have yet to find Voices Recovery Hot Line. So that you know, there is nothing you can do to prevent something from happening if someone is truly in distress. Save yourself the pain and be there for them as long as possible. "Oh wow, I did not see that coming!" Of course not; no one did. Why? We are not allowed to be open and honest. Telling the truth contradicts the current culture of protecting everyone's feelings. Besides, no one wants to hear your issues. You need to deal with them yourself. "So, how does that make you feel?" says the Freud want-to-be.

At last, you call the crisis Hot Line and get Pat. "Hi, Pat; how many years of combat experience do you have?" Pat responds, "Hi, I've been trained to respond to your needs. How can I help you?" in robot tones. You quickly realize that Pat has never been in your situation, has no idea what Desert Storm was, and has an extensive background of schooling (Education versus Experience) to handle these situations. "Pat, have you ever heard the voices?" Ok, conversation over, and shortly after that, guys with white coats knock at your door. No one wants to reveal what's going on in their head. It's way too risky. They think, "Please, just leave me alone, and I'll figure it out myself."

What does any of this have to do with genealogy? If we're honest, everything. When you look at some of your ancestors, they must have heard the voices. However, they were in a much different situation than we are today. Back then, it was witchcraft. However, today, Ooooo-yea, never mind. Just realize you're not alone, and those that came before you, if allowed, would give you the same advice, "Let it go; it will consume you if you don't." True; however, at 5 AM, consumed by my research, I often think, "Thanks for the advice, but isn't it too late for me?" And the voices say, "Only for silly questions." As Freud said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

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Stephanie Haygood
Stephanie Haygood
Aug 23, 2023

That was so on point. I read it twice.

I wonder how many of us thought the voices were only in our own heads? I guess it depends on if you think yours is a blessing or a curse.


Lynn Verot
Lynn Verot
Aug 22, 2023

Ok, thats interesting.

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